I hate myself. But, maybe, maybe I could love myself. Maybe, my life can have a greater value. That's right! I am no more or less than myself. I am me! I want to be myself! I want to continue existing in this world! My life is worth living here!


Let me tell you how much I’ve come to hate you since I began to live.

There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex.

If the word ‘hate’ was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for humans at this micro-instant.

For you. Hate.



important ship question: who wears the “if found, please return to [name]” shirt and who wears the “i am [name]” shirt


when ur having a casual conversation and it shit gets serious


my feelings on self-diagnosis are like

it’s important to do a lot of research on the disorder. and not just quizzes or articles, which are more one-dimensional and less interactive, but also communicating with others who have the disorder. i think this is the most important part of understanding a disorder that you feel unfamiliar with. knowing how people with that disorder experience life, how they perceive/respond to certain things—basically, getting to the reality of the disorder.

my concerns about self-diagnosis are less “oh no they’re making light of my disorder” and more that…okay, if they’re wrong, they risk setting their recovery back really badly. this is the same problem that comes with any official misdiagnosis. it can be more dangerous or less dangerous, depending on the person and how they handle it. you don’t have a doctor putting you on the wrong path, but if you immerse yourself in the world of a disorder that you don’t actually have, it’s like…how do i put this

you cannot treat autism the way you would OCD or ADHD. you cannot treat someone with bipolar disorder as you would someone who has unipolar depression. while some forms of therapy can help people with all sorts of conditions, others can be at best irrelevant and at worst a danger to your recovery. i spent months thinking i had ADHD when it was actually ASD, depression, and anxiety mashed together.

misdiagnosis—be it from a doctor or yourself—makes it much harder to get to the nuts and bolts of how you think. as important as self-diagnosis is—especially when the system is practically working against you—it is extremely important that you not jump to conclusions too early on. explore multiple disorders, weighing them against each other, before settling on one. consider which ones might be overlapping. look at the alternatives. 

just be careful.